What things happen for a reason? Are we refering to my past three years? At this point in life I’m tired. I’m wondering things like why wasn’t I good enough to keep these things from happening. Where did I go so wrong to end up in the situations that I did? I’m tired, beaten, and worn. I desperately needed to talk. To talk about the violations I’ve recieved as a person and to my soul. But there isn’t anyone. I’m expected to walk this world alone. Figure it out for myself. All I figured out is that if I don’t rock the boat I don’t get hurt. As usual in these type of “matters” my requests to the proper people aren’t met with response. I’m tired of fighting for the rights that they’re supposed to uphold.
Don’t blame me, I’m just tired.
I know what I did wrong, and I know that I need a lot of work to get back to the way that I used to be. But without anyone around cheering me on, and then hearing that my own parents don’t even expect me to “make it” – well I’m tired.
I no longer look forward to Dave concerts in the summer. I don’t think about cruises in the Bahamas in the winter. I just live each day as I live and don’t really even think about the future.
What’s supposed to motivate me to do otherwise? I’m tired, and there isn’t anyone to hold my hand.
One last thing – why even bother? I’ve heard about how your friends treat you just because of what they think they know – when there wasn’t even anything to talk about.