I love Curtis. He has shown me what love is, and has no idea how much I really love him. Today dealing with my feelings I realized how much I truly do love him. When it was natural for me to feel like shutting down my feelings and to walk away to protect what I want to achieve. To walk away from anything in my way. But I knew I didn’t want to walk away from you. I may not have known the answer, a resolution, but I knew it wasn’t leaving you.
On the way to talk to you I prayed. I asked for help in expressing how I felt, in knowing what to say, and however I said it, not chasing you away. When we talked you were so perfect. You knew exactly the two choices. You said we could either stop seeing eachother, because it’s just too hard, or keep dating but not let it happen. You said you knew that I needed to get back in.
The other day you said that you knew I’d make it. You don’t know how much your support means to me.
I know what I want. I want to please Jehovah. I want to be worthy of worshipping along side all of my friends in his organization. I want to make him happy.
For so long I’ve talked about “when I get my life back”. I now know that life never stopped.