spunkygidget: i’m going run downstairs real quick and pick up a yogurt. brb
canadianogre: a little, I try and rub off on him but he still keeps wanting more and more stuff… he wants a new stereo, sunroof and lights on his truck, just bought and an mp3 player
spunkygidget: yeah i know. he could have so much money saved – instead he is constantly telling me how he doesn’t have any money. the stereo he looked at yesterday was $400 + how ever much all the speakers would cost. It wouldn’t matter though if it made him happy – BUT it doesn’t.
spunkygidget: What makes you happy?
canadianogre: laughing at curt buying stuff
spunkygidget: I’m serious! Are you happy? Or just quietly not?
canadianogre: I think for the most part I’m content, i have serious moments but I try and avoid them
spunkygidget: What makes you content then?
canadianogre: well, I try to keep thinking of life as something not to be taken too seriously, especially when it comes to myself, I am not always successful in doing that but when I am I am content
spunkygidget: Curt says I’m not a good listener and that I have it all figured out… that makes me want to shut up and stop asking questions of people, even though I’m interested – do you think I’m that way? (Constructive critisim)
canadianogre: hmmm, tough to say, listening is a lot tougher then speaking, one little trick that I do is that if I am already thinking of my next point while that person is talking then I know I am not listening, using that trick you may be able to judge for yourself
canadianogre: I feel like a cheesy canadian yoda now
spunkygidget: Well, in some ways I think Curtis just makes me feel like I’m too silly – like I’d like to ask you about what you believe about this world, and where it’s going to end up – (curt had mentioned something about it) but then it’s as if he thinks I think I already know all the answers and that you wouldn’t even want to talk to me anyways.
canadianogre: those questions are not silly, it just brings up religion which is an issue that apparently should be avoided, I think asking questions is a great way to learn about a person, just timing of questions like that is tough
spunkygidget: I guess I just really hate how much of an issue hes made religion. I feel like so much is closed off now because of him making it seem like religion is such an issue to me. I’m interested in what people believe, how they feel and what they want. I feel like I don’t have the opportunitity to ask though – because there is such a stigma attached to me… I don’t know if it was his mom, or family or something – but it’s as if he really believes i’m out to “convert” everyone.
canadianogre: Yes, i think the 2 of you both seem a little focused on it because it is an issue between you, I like to tease you about converting, and lets be honest, his attending bible study was an attmempt to get him to be converted
spunkygidget: No – That makes me mad. Curtis talks about us wanting to be such very close friends forever. When I first met him I made it clear that that’s only been possible for people who really understand me. Thats where that came from. I did want him to go with me, and share it with me – but that’s not about changing people – thats about sharing.
canadianogre: well, let me take that back, u too being together long term would mean him converting (i think) and your religion plays much more of a role in your life then it does it most peoples lives (not saying that is good or bad)
spunkygidget: I guess I would say that us being together long term, would be easiest if he was a JW because it does play such a large part in my life. It’s not impossible otherwise, and there are people I know who have done it. He promised me (on his own, not my asking) that he was going to study – so that he could know more about me, and so taht when I wanted to talk about htings- then he would know what I was talking about. I’m upset because of all the promises hes made, and not kept.
spunkygidget: He promised me a promise ring, he promised me time together (but we broke up instead) amoung other things – This one I’d like him to keep – because this one can help us to stay close as friends, and give me the chance to have a friend to talk about those kinds of things with- instead of all the ppl who really are closed minded.
canadianogre: I’m sorry, I do not want to make you angry, I understand sharing things that are important to you, but if that thing turns out not to be important or even go against his beliefs then that would have be something that can truely be shared
spunkygidget: Thing is he’ll tell me that it doesn’t. But he’ll tell you or Robert another thing. That makes me mad. I don’t understand why people are so worried about him. I hate hearing that I’m part of a cult – or that we don’t use the whole bible. Incorrect statements. (PS I’m not mad) I wish that people could have just left him to do what he wanted – but now he’s so twisted around in everyones worries. His family asking him when he’s ogin gto start pushing books -and his mother about raising grandkids – That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. It was simple. It was something that we were going to share – and it was seomething that didn’t anything or anyone.
canadianogre: I really hate typing, it leaves to much left out of the conversation. I think talking about them is a great thing, and I actually enjoy it at times, and hopefully you too will be able to discuss religion openly with each and have that as something to share
spunkygidget: But—will people always look at me and think I’m trying to convert him, and then always try to “prevent” that from happening? If so I just feel like I should go away, because the friendship could never get to level I’m looking for in my best friend, and we’ll always be in conflict because ppl will keep it that way.
canadianogre: well, I do not think I would blame outside people, Curtis is too independent to change his beliefs based on others opinions, it just happens that your 2 beliefs are different is some ways, just like mine and curtis’s are different, i do not believe in God, or much of anything (sad i know) but it is the way I am, I accept his belief, just like I accept yours, but it does not stop us from talking about it to each other
canadianogre: lunch time
spunkygidget: Are you mad at me?
canadianogre: no, not at all, I actully have liked to talking about this, that is why i hate typing, the emotion is lost and only inferred
spunkygidget: But he really does let what people say get to him. He’s turned from looking at my religion as good (although not his) and is now acting like I’m a freak. I hear him say the things that Robert says… I’m sorry – go to lunch hungry boy. I hope that you’ll continue talkign with me – you’re very insiteful.
spunkygidget: But do you honestly think we’ll ever get to sit and talk without Curt? I remember only once – In the car in NE.
canadianogre: ummm, not sure on that, I would feel awkward because of the past you and curtis have… we will always have yahoo at least
canadianogre: ok, must eat