Nibbles

Well tonight makes a year. I just happened across a calendar, and realized it. Of course having it marked on the calendar helped. Tears are rolling down my face and I’m having a moment of sadness or loss in the middle of a rather bland and discontented night. Earlier I was listening to music and “Sway” came on. Made me think of how he danced with her before he left. Made me wish that I could have ever seen that version of him. Someone who poured his heart out, who slowed danced spontaneously. But I never did get to see that version of him. Its hard not to tell myself that its because he never loved me like he loved her.

Oh Curtis, you’ll never know how much I wish everything could be perfect for us. Tonight my heart aches incrediably, and at least now I know why. Tonight I wish I could be with you. All memories and future aside. Just you and me. And love.

Where do I go from here?

Here’s to love.

Don’t stray, don’t ever go away

I should be much too smart for this

You know it gets the better of me

Sometimes, when you and I collide

I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time

Don’t let me drown, let me down

I say it’s all because of you

And here I go, losing my control

I’m practising your name so I can say it to your face

It doesn’t seem right, to look you in the eye

Let all the things you mean to me

Come tumbling out my mouth

Indeed it’s time to tell you why

I say it’s infintely true

Say you’ll stay, don’t come and go

Like you do

Sway my way, yeah I need to know

All about you

And there’s no cure, and no way to be sure

Why everything’s turned inside out

Instilling so much doubt

It makes me so tired – I feel so uninspired

My head is battling with my heart

My logic has been torn apart

And now it all turns sour

Come sweeten every afternoon

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