Anxiety and madness

I feel a sense of madness swarming around me, settling into my soul and mind. I don’t know if it’s the weather, the gray dreary skys and chilling days, or maybe it’s the effect of each night’s sleep slipping away from me.

Stress.

I feel almost a sense of panic, of desparation. I try to squelch it.

I’m in a foul mood, it started November 1st. I can’t seem to escape it. I can’t seem to sleep, I can’t seem to smile, I can’t seem to let go.

To some extent I suppose I want comfort, but I know no one who can give it. Those who offer, I refuse. I don’t know how to accept this. This defeat of circumstances. This abundant loss. The resignation.

I feel as though life is closing in on me. Trapping me here. Here where the skys are gray, the people are fickle, and dreams are limited. Here where I feel as though there is no love be found, no complement to my heart. Here where I live each day, one at a time, to no end.

This life just isn’t for me. How can people stand living like this? I need my vibrancy back. I need sunshine and fun. I need happy people who love to dance and sing. I need inspiration.

Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

“Hang in there, baby.”

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