I feel a sense of madness swarming around me, settling into my soul and mind. I don’t know if it’s the weather, the gray dreary skys and chilling days, or maybe it’s the effect of each night’s sleep slipping away from me.
I feel almost a sense of panic, of desparation. I try to squelch it.
I’m in a foul mood, it started November 1st. I can’t seem to escape it. I can’t seem to sleep, I can’t seem to smile, I can’t seem to let go.
To some extent I suppose I want comfort, but I know no one who can give it. Those who offer, I refuse. I don’t know how to accept this. This defeat of circumstances. This abundant loss. The resignation.
I feel as though life is closing in on me. Trapping me here. Here where the skys are gray, the people are fickle, and dreams are limited. Here where I feel as though there is no love be found, no complement to my heart. Here where I live each day, one at a time, to no end.
This life just isn’t for me. How can people stand living like this? I need my vibrancy back. I need sunshine and fun. I need happy people who love to dance and sing. I need inspiration.
Don’t let your dreams be dreams.
“Hang in there, baby.”