Love this song, love her voice…

In This Life – Chantal Kreviazuk
(Alice Lounge Performance on SFO 97.3)

Let me show you what I’m made of
Good intentions are not enough
To get me through today and this life.

You’re in the basement watching the TV,
I’m on the second floor watching the ceiling.
We sleep underneath the same big sky at night.
I dream the same dream we can fly.

You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.

Let me tell you who you really are…
You’re my comfort,
You’re not a superstar.
I can reach up and bring you back down to the ground
And give you everything you dream about.

You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.

I’ll give you all the things that I never get
Give you all I have and have no regret
Take you to the places that I’ve never been.

Forgive you all the things that you can’t forget
Take away the pain with my healing hands
Wash away your sins and set your spirit free.

You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.

Let me show you what I’m made of.

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Australia Day

Today is Australia Day, and a co-worker brought in meat pies. Yum! I love it.

I’ve been in a good mood lately. Christian and I have been talking regularly, and I’m thrilled to have such a valuable new friend.

I’ve been going to the gym, although still not as regularly or working out as prescribed, but it’s a start. I’m thinking about getting an elliptical machine for home, to be able to be active when normally I’d be sitting around or something. I’ve started watching what I eat a little closer, and keeping an eye on calories. Thankfully this should only be for about a month or so, just until I lose these extra 10 pounds I’ve put on by being a lazy Micro-soft-ie.

My classes are going pretty well. I’m not really keeping up with the reading material so well, but I am getting into the study guides and the meat of what I’m supposed to be learning. Hopefully this will be a successful means of completing the class. I think next quarter I’ll just take one class. Maybe if I do that, and it’s not much of a burden, I’ll really finish this degree up one day.

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Phantom of the Bayou

I don’t really understand. Christian hasn’t called me back since his original phone call on Wednesday. It’s now Friday. I wonder why he would have called originally if he didn’t intend on keeping up with each other. Then I wonder if I am too eager, and just need to relax… It’s just Friday.

I wonder if there really is a wife back home. Or perhaps a girlfriend. Maybe he went home and broke the promise, and hence is now shying away. Thing is, I would just love to have him as a friend if nothing else. An amazing person, an honest to goodness “Good Guy” as Eilon labelled him. A great father, slightly wiser and more mature than myself… he’s got some of what I’m working on figured out. Not judgemental, open minded and happy.

He motivated me to weather the storm and face it head on. In the same boat together it would be nice to have that kind of a person supporting you, and to be able to do the same for someone else.

I just don’t get it.

I hope in a day or so I look at this post and laugh at myself for being so wrapped up. And I hope he’ll laugh at me for waiting by the phone, nearly holding my breath. At least he should be happy to be the first person to put me in that position.

If not, it was a shooting star that sparkled but for a brief moment, and then faded. Who would have thought there were stars in New Orleans?

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People Like New

Yeah the roads are right tonite
they are twisting
My mouth is dry – like cool air inside

And maybe I worry
do things in a hurry
and follow the dust
of people like new

There’s people like me
and there’s people like you

Yeah the roads are right tonite
they are turning
I know that deep inside the pines
an answer is lurking
And maybe I worry
do things in a hurry
and follow the dust
of people like new
There’s people like me
and there’s people like new

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Kite

Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I’m not afraid to die
I’m not afraid to live
And when I’m flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don’t need me anymore
I want you to know
You don’t need anyone
Or anything at all

Who’s to say where the wind will take you?
Who’s to say what it is will break you?
I don’t know, which way the wind will blow

Who’s to know when the time has come around?
Don’t want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

It’s summer, I can taste the salt of the sea
There’s a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what’s gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me…

I’m a woman, I’m not a child…
A woman who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who’s to say where the wind will take you?
Who’s to say what it is will break you?
I don’t know, where the wind will blow

Who’s to know when the time has come around?
I don’t want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it?
Not so much I couldn’t taste it
Life should be fragrant
Rooftop to the basement

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Morality

Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness.
Immanuel Kant: 1724-1804 German Philosopher

Our whole life is startlingly moral. There is never an instant’s truce between virtue and vice.
Henry David Thoreau : 1817-1862 American Essayist Poet Naturalist

There is no such thing as morality or immorality in thought. There is immoral emotion.
Oscar Wilde : 1856-1900 British Author

We become moral when we are unhappy.
Marce Proustl : 1871-1922 French Novelist

What is moral is what you feel good after, and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
Ernest Hemingway : 1898-1961 American Writer

It is far easier for a woman to lead a blameless life than it is for a man; all she has to do is to avoid sexual intercourse like the plague.
Angela Carter : 1940-1992 British Author

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Bad

If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would
Let it go
Surrender
Dislocate

If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame

If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I’d lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day

To let it go
And so to fade away
To let it go
And so fade away

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

If you should ask then maybe they’d
Tell you what I would say
True colors fly in blue and black
Bruised silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go…

This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go

And so fade away
To let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so to fade away

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

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Inside Out

Here. A little sympathy for you to waste on me
I know you’re faking it but that’s okay
And I don’t want to drag it out
Don’t want to bring you down
I never wanted it to end this way

Even if I wanted to
I don’t think that I’d get to you
There’s nothing I can say to you to make you feel alive again

Here. A little jealousy
I hope you think of me
Hope you wonder where I sleep at night
‘Cause I feel like I’m inside out
You got me upside down
Maybe I was holding on too tight

Even if I wanted to
I don’t think that I’d get to you
There’s nothing I can say to you to make you feel alive again

So don’t just say goodbye to me
Just turn your back away and leave
And if you’re lucky I will be your last regret, your only friend

The two of us we dream like one
The two of us, the two of us
The two of us take breath like one
The two of us, the two of us

I guess that this is over now
I guess it’s called the falling out
But everyday I’m learning how to make it through this life I’m in

Even if I wanted to
I don’t think that I’d get to you
There’s nothing I can say to you to make you feel alive again

So don’t just say goodbye to me
Just turn your back away and leave
And if you’re lucky I will be your last regret, your only friend

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Lost

“Would you rather know me, or love me?”

Angie, Angie, when will those clouds all disappear?
Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?

With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats
You can’t say we’re satisfied
But Angie, Angie, you can’t say we never tried

Angie, you’re beautiful, but ain’t it time we said good-bye?

Angie, I still love you, remember all those nights we cried?
All the dreams we held so close seemed to all go up in smoke
Let me whisper in your ear…
Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?

Oh, Angie, don’t you weep, all your kisses still taste sweet
I hate that sadness in your eyes
But Angie, Angie, ain’t it time we said good-bye?
With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats
You can’t say we’re satisfied

But Angie, I still love you, baby
Ev’rywhere I look I see your eyes
There ain’t a woman that comes close to you
Come on baby, dry your eyes

But Angie, Angie, ain’t it good to be alive?
Angie, Angie, they can’t say we never tried.

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Music

Do you love?

Child, it’s broke
And I feel you
Slipping away

Child, you spoke
And the world
Fell silent again

Do you love
Do you need love

Child, undone
By fear of falling
Through cracks

Child, by one mistake
You’ve lost your way back
(Something’s gotta
Turn you round)

Child be still
In the storm
To wave us goodbye

Child we will
Return to dance
With the sky

Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels shout
Is your heart strung out

Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels fall
Have you lost it all

Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels cry
Does your spirit die

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Promises Broken

Samy told Ashley, Ashley told Jazelyn, Jazelyn told Mia, Mia told Matt, Matt told me.

Streets are filled with broken glass
You get buried by the past
Give me just a little taste
Lay this mess to waste
Take me home

My mind is racing take me home
My body’s achin’ so alone
I’ll make you want to stay with me
Befriended by the enemy
One more time

And every little thing about this tells me
Nothing out there is ever gonna help me
All these words that I hear spoken just promises broken now

Looking outside from my window sill
Throw another coin in the wishing well
You’ll never find what you’re looking for
Fifteen miles
Your dim light shines from so far away
Your sad smile
Is all I see when I say

That every little thing about this tells me
Nothing out there is ever gonna help me
All these words that I hear spoken just promises broken now

From the hotel satellite
Don’t look like you’re living right
Here’s a deal you can’t refuse
You ain’t got as much to lose

Can you tell your troubles to
Someone who won’t laugh at you
It’s all right
And as I watch you walk away
Hope a part of you would stay
It’s all right

And every little thing about this tells me
Nothing out there is ever gonna help me
All these words that I hear spoken just promises broken now

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