Nibbles

keller

well that really sucks. keller tells brian i’ve posted photos (which when i posted i knew he’d know immediately) but in a negative light. brian tells me tonight and my first reaction was a little bit of surprise because i had already changed the album title, details, and basically the overall tone. i had originally posted them as a reaction to the hurt and because people who thought i was a cheater in rome. anyone can look at those photos and imagine a little more level playing field. at the very least it leveled my heart.

in any case, i knew last week that keller was not my friend. i IM’ed him and emailed him, and he didn’t respond. no, instead he emailed brian and asked for my ticket. charlie needed one. why not ditch the girl? would brian have uninvited me if it weren’t for keller? i guess i’ll never know because brian’s so fucked in the head he couldn’t tell the truth one way or another. but i’ll always believe we would have gone together… because what he did instead is low class.

what’s even worse is the conversation that it motivated. thanks keller. and you didn’t even use the ticket. 10 years from now i will remember that. you won’t be in my wedding. you did nothing to help us, you were a naysayer.

so in the end – yeah, i shouldn’t have sent the email, because i already knew that keller wasn’t my friend. a real friend would have helped brian figure out what he really wants, how he really feels, not helping him follow some woman hater script. a real friend would have checked on me to see how i was doing. a real friend would have responded to my IM & email even if to say “I don’t know (what the plan with the show is)”. a real friend would have seen the photos and emailed me to say, “hey, are you sure you wanna do that because people might think…” But, no, Keller wasn’t a real friend. Keller isn’t a real friend.

Nothing like a relationship in the lurch to determine who is and isn’t.

Oh – and I’m not going to be in a relationship where it can’t be completely open and honest. What I did in emailing Keller violated that trust, but it can and will be earned back. There’s a reason the law has protection for married couples.

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