Walking home from the cafe, I was enjoying the cool damp air. It wasn’t raining anymore, and that was a good thing because the rain here is “real” unlike that in Seattle.

I felt my spirit lift a little, a giddiness swelling, that thing that I suppose it what makes me “Spunky Gidget”. It’s the coolness. It’s fresh, a new season.

The cool air brings with it a strong desire to cuddle up as I dream of hibernation on the couch with movies and popcorn.

I dream of cabins in the snow where snow bunnies go when the slopes close for the night. Of snow fights ending in snuggles, and ultimately, the hot tub.

I long for warm kitchens and home cooking with friends. Sharing stories and laughter.

My spirit dropped again. It’s a cycle that’s repeated itself many times the past few days.

When I picture the couch, it’s a white couch with some sort of awful tapestry kind of thing going on. It’s entirely too short to stretch out. Instead, you’re always tangled and somehow invading in his space. I love that couch.

When I picture the sweat pants and sweat shirts that are the staples of our winter survival, I picture my grey yoga sweat pants, and a brown and tan striped hoodie which carries his scent, stronger on days he wore it back from the gym.

When I picture the kitchen, it’s Ryan King’s. And the laughter I hear belongs to him. He tilts his head back slightly and lifts his eyes with that ever present sparkle.

Is it even necessary to tell you how much I was looking forward to winter? It’s been a long hard year. The previous year, I dare say wasn’t much better. I survived so many dashed dreams, struggled through to crazy achievements, and made it out other side to San Francisco.

The past six months I wondered lost, confused, uncertain, letting go, and holding on. You held my hand, and walked at my pace.

I was really looking forward to winter.

I was really looking forward to you.


I need you to need me!

Okay, so I admit it. I felt alone. Lonely.

It seemed that my closest friends were all taking time off to reflect, and I selfishly wondered, what the hell? What about me? I needed my friends this weekend! Okay, okay, so I won’t doubt that I am needed, thought of, loved and wanted again! The universe, or whatever, is sending me a message and I hear it loud and clear!

Just after posting the letter, I receive the following text message from yet another friend:

“Wish you were here. Having girl troubles and always enjoyed getting your perspective on things. :-)”

“I need you to need me!” – Letters to Cleo. It’s good to be needed.