I nibbled a bit of Microsoft, and a byte of Apple.
Interview with Steve Jobs and Bill Gates at D7 (2007)
Q: “…personally come in every day to save it…?
A: “…that’s my life’s work…”
I nibbled a bit of Microsoft, and a byte of Apple.
Interview with Steve Jobs and Bill Gates at D7 (2007)
Q: “…personally come in every day to save it…?
A: “…that’s my life’s work…”
It’s true, Hobbes, ignorance is bliss!
Posted on 18 December, 2011, Read more at Molly.com…
The Thymus Gland is located by the breastbone in the nook between our throat and shoulders. A small gland, at risk as our sensitive neck and spine adjust to the ever-shifting weight of our skulls.
The Thymus, throughout history, has been a bit mysterious. It is believed to be a part of human/primate immunity and behavioral posturing.
Imagine male Gorillas pounding their chests. It’s thought that gorillas don’t only posture, but stimulate a specific biological response – to excite or to calm – by pounding upon their prominent Thymus glands.
While it is true that patients who experience hypomania as a side effect of Clonazepam may prove to have a form of bipolar disorder that has previously gone unrecognized, drug-induced hypomania is not invariably indicative of bipolar affective disorders.
It’s frustrating because suddenly I’m facing the woes I wrote about in college regarding labeling mental illness, and the impact of the use of labels, such as “creative” or “over-achiever”.
Some people would include in the Bipolar Disorder category a consistently elevated mood called hyperthymia. Being constantly upbeat and always enthusiastic is not unheard of, but it is not the norm in the general population. It is more common to experience a fairly steady, neither-too-high-nor-too-low mood characterized by some contentment, some discontentment, some happiness, and some sadness — usually associated with external events such as receiving good news, problems with personal relationships, etc.
Does a long-lasting, exuberant mood that causes no problem need to be placed on the spectrum of mood disorders? In a clinical sense, no. If it poses no threat to anyone’s health, it is not a concern for psychiatrists. Cataloging and understanding a mental state like this, however, may help us better understand the full spectrum of emotional states related to mood disorders and provide clues about what can go wrong when moods become extreme.
Some people always seem to be upbeat and energetic, trying new things and initiating new projects. This trait, which is sometimes called hyperthymia, is not unlike being on a “permanent high.” Some people argue that hyperthymia is a type of mood disorder that results in high activity and inflated sense of self-esteem — something like living with constant hypomania but with the crucial difference that it is not as clearly episodic. Instead, it seems to last and is without any associated depression.
While observations of many people indicate some of them have this mood trait, hyperthymic disorder is not recognized as a mood disorder by either of the two mainstream authorities, the American Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization. It appears in neither of their diagnostic manuals, the DSM IV and the ICD-10.
On the surface, people with hyperthymia seem optimistic and full of energy. They radiate self-confidence and self-reliance; they seem to believe they can do whatever needs to be done. They thrive on new experiences that promise variety, intrigue, and novelty. Usually, they have a great many personal interests, as well as plans for the future. They also can be articulate and witty.
It might be most accurate to think of hyperthymia as a temperament or personality trait rather than as a marker of a mental disorder. Of course, if this trait causes problems, then it becomes a legitimate subject for psychological or psychiatric care.
In fact, criticism of mainstream psychiatry is often directed at its alleged predisposition to label people with problems that don’t exist. The inclusion of homosexuality in earlier editions of the DSM IV — an error since corrected — is a frequently cited example. The reality is if someone is not unhappy, suffering, or a threat to themselves or others, psychiatrists have no reason to intervene. They are busy enough treating people with serious mental problems. It is only when complaints or serious problems appear that the labels of the DSM IV are applied as part of the process for providing effective treatment. A hyperthymic personality can be satisfying, productive, and creative. But if for some individuals it is a manifestation of a part of a spectrum of mood disorders, it could be problematic. For example, some people later diagnosed with bipolar disorder first seek help with depression after they have experienced a set-back in their lives. A close look back over their lives may reveal that they have been hyperthymic. Rather than having easily recognizable mood swings, these people may have been experiencing years of constant emotional elevation and enthusiasm along with a long history of uncompleted endeavors.
Also, the lack of a healthy response to the full range of life experience might cause problems for some people who always seem to have elevated spirits. A full, healthy life for most people includes periods of elation and introspection, action and reflection. If only one pole of our emotional lives is present, we may miss the benefits of the counterbalancing half of our responses to events. Consequently, we may lack understanding and empathy in the way we interact with people and respond to events in our lives.
Here is interesting stuff… so I was using caffeine to increase getting rid of the lithium. However, at that time I didn’t know that I’d been given Clonazepam. It is counterproductive on getting rid of Clonazepam.
[Three doses of] Lithium arguably did something good for me. It released this maniac that I adore… finally I’m the “me” I was when I was younger. Self-confident and assured. Alive and thinking. Living and focused. However, it appears just a half-dose would have done it, as their repeated doses kept me awake for 10 straight days, and besides Navy Seals, I can’t find anyone else who thinks that’s cool, nor good for me.
Clonazepam on the other hand is what makes a real life psycho. Manic sprees, up and downs. Chemically induced symptoms presenting as bipolar.
I’m kicking the caffeine again in favor of being rid of Clonazepam not a day longer than the torturous six months reported half-life.
Momma, keep me safe from these goons. Why don’t they believe me when I tell them their medicine will kill me? Isn’t it right there in all their own drug interaction sheets? I marvel at the psychologist who gave me sheet after sheet of drugs she wanted to “try” on me.
Um, I was just fine before they thought they knew more than me. I am SMRT, and waaaay SMRTer than Valerie, C. Castro or that other guy who barely rates in my memory.
All they did was fuel my apathy and create a revolutionary out of the sleeper that once was busy day dreaming about love, and living forever in a paradise earth that looks a lot like La Jolla. That I blame squarely on the almighty God Jehovah, and being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. They say religion is just a form of insanity. Perhaps that’s the only means by which I could be convicted.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t,… if only I believed in hell anywhere besides on earth.
“I know, you’re bi-polar.”
“Old man, look at my life, I’m a lot like you were.”
By RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D.
In the course of the last year, the woman lost her husband to cancer and then her job. But she did not come to my office as a patient; she sought advice about her teenage son who was having trouble dealing with his father’s death.
Despite crushing loss and stress, she was not at all depressed – sad, yes, but still upbeat. I found myself stunned by her resilience. What accounted for her ability to weather such sorrow with buoyant optimism? So I asked her directly.
“All my life,” she recalled recently, “I’ve been happy for no good reason. It’s just my nature, I guess.”
But it was more than that. She was a happy extrovert, full of energy and enthusiasm who was indefatigably sociable. And she could get by with five or six hours of sleep each night.
Like this woman, a journalist I know realized when she was a teenager that she was different from others. “It’s actually kind of embarrassing to be so cheerful and happy all the time,” she said. “When I was in high school I read the Robert Browning poem `My Last Duchess.’ In it, the narrator said he killed his wife, the duchess, because, `she had a heart – how shall I say, too soon made glad?’ And I thought, uh-oh, that’s me.”
These two women were lucky to be born with a joyous temperament, which in its most extreme forms is called hyperthymia. Cheerful despite life’s misfortunes, energetic and productive, they are often the envy of all who know them because they don’t even have to work at it.
In a sense, they are the psychiatric mirror image of people who suffer from a chronic, often lifelong, mild depression called dysthymia, which affects about 3 percent of American adults. Always down, dysthymics experience little pleasure and battle through life with a dreary pessimism. Despite whatever fortune comes their way, they remain glum.
But hyperthymia certainly doesn’t look like an illness; there appears to be no disadvantage to being a euphoric extrovert, except, perhaps, for inspiring an occasional homicidal impulse from jealous friends or peers. But little is actually known about people with hyperthymia for the simple reason that they don’t see psychiatrists complaining that they are happy.
I was talking with my momma this morning about orthomolecular medicine, and all the work she’s done to help people achieve better health over the years. Most often when I’m thinking about my momma in this regard, I think of how it is that she’s responsible for bringing life to families struggling to have children. What more beautiful work can there be as a humanitarian than to care for the quality of human life, and it’s propagation through it’s generations of families? Continue reading
Sometimes in this business you are called upon to treat a madman, or a madwoman, someone seemingly psychotic, talking way over your head, out there, but still oriented times three (person, place, time). You sense genius. You feel that this person is smarter than you are, or at least as smart.
You recognize, right away, undeniable talent and intellect. He is a song-writer, a one-hit wonder. She is an artist. He is a poet; she directs a television show. He is a computer programmer; she is a doctor. And you’re humble. You go home and think, why in the world see me?
But you know why. The patient needs your particular genius, because his madness is getting in the way. Others are complaining, complaining so loudly, you can hear them and they’re not in the room, not even in the building. You suspect mental illness.
And it usually is. Nassir Ghaemi, author of A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness, is of the opinion that it isn’t always so bad. Indeed, some creative people have a hyperthymic temperament. They rarely need therapy, not unless no one else will listen to them. It is not a disorder.— therapydoc is at gmaildotcom
“Many people who experience traumas [like terrorism or war] don’t develop PTSD or other illnesses. So the question is, what keeps those people from getting sick? What creates resilience?
The psychological research suggests that personality is a major factor.
Resilience seems to be associated with mild manic symptoms, but you can’t develop resilience unless you’ve already experienced trauma.
Many of these leaders faced adversity in their childhood and adulthood, and that seemed to make them better able to handle crises. It’s like a vaccine.
You get exposed to a little bit of a bacteria then you can handle major infections and I think trauma and resilience and hyperthymic personality seem to follow a similar path.”
Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too “normal.” (06:54)
The Colbert Report
Ghaemi: “Mild manic symptoms through-out ones life psychiatrists call ‘hyperthymic personality’.”
Colbert: “Sounds like a mad scientist.
Ghaemi: “One of the things about mania is that it does cause a person to have many different kinds of thoughts, many of which are creative. Connections happen because the thoughts are fast and in different directions in a way that mentally healthy average people do not have.”
Colbert: “Which of them do you think seems the most—creative?”
Ghaemi: “I have to say, you ask just the right question. That’s what we should be asking about our leaders. Who are creative, resilient, empathic and realistic? These are the four traits of leadership that grow out of mania and depression. And if we ask those questions we’ll get people like that—Colbert interjects, “Who?”—and we should accept them.
Colbert: “No Drama Obama” — “One way to get a better leader in office is to gaslight them and to make them crazy—I mean, the tea party could be therapy.”
Colbert: “You’re born with this—It’s genetic?”
Colbert: “Perhaps we should have cheek scrapings for these—or a reserve President…”
Ghaemi: “…some abnormality is actually quite good.”
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”—J. Krishnamurti
In July 2011, I spent a total of nine days in the San Diego County Psychiatric Hospital. Being sane in an insane place is much harder than you might think, but then again maybe you don’t think I’m sane.*
I know how the caged bird sings, she sings with resonation found only on the super slick floors that only an insane asylum can afford where she sings “Crazy“.
“How do we know precisely what constitutes “normality” or mental illness? Conventional wisdom suggests that specially trained professionals have the ability to make reasonably accurate diagnoses. What is—or is not—“normal” may have much to do with the labels that are applied to people in particular settings.”
The Rosenhan experiment was a famous experiment into the validity of psychiatric diagnosis conducted by psychologist David Rosenhan in 1973. It was published in the journal Science under the title “On Being Sane in Insane Places.” Rosenhan DL (January 1973). The study is considered an important and influential criticism of psychiatric diagnosis. Lauren Slater later revisits the experiment and publishes her findings in Opening Skinner’s Box: Great Psychological Experiments of the Twentieth Century (2004).
Hagop Akiskal MD of UCSD, favors the term, “hyperthymic,” a temperament opposite to “depressive.” Dr Akiskal views temperament as coexisting on the same spectrum with illness, ranging from advantageous to pathological.
The DSM views hypomania as an “episode” that is part of bipolar disorder, but, unlike depression, it is not considered an illness in its own right. People may act a bit strange when hypomanic, but they tend to be able to hold onto their jobs and personal relationships. Indeed, when hypomanic our productivity and creativity and sociability tend to make us the envy of the rest of the world.
Individuals with a hyperthymic personality disorders are persistently more happy and optimistic than normal.
They have marked enthusiasm for life but on the other hand tend to be rash and show poor judgement.
Link: Hyperthymic Personality
Now, the better question would be, what if there is no depression? Can people just have mild mania? And the answer to that is at one level it appears that God or nature or Darwin or whoever evolved our brains or created our brains did it in such a way that it doesn’t seem that episodic, mild mania can happen by itself. It has not really been described that people can have intermittent hypomania and nothing else, no depression. It can happen, but it’s probably rare. Just having manic episodes without depressive episodes is reported in maybe 5 to 10 percent of bipolar patients, and we don’t really know if just having hypomanic episodes can happen.
Trying to capture all my thoughts is exhausting but seems necessary in my creative process. The connections I see forming, as I let my thoughts go rather than trying to focus them, are astounding. Continue reading
Folic Acid as L-5-MTHF
Despite what most people would assume, the body does not actually use folic acid. Folic acid must be converted to its active forms, like L-5-MTHF, to be used by the body. Continue reading
Clonazepam is primarily prescribed for epilepsy, but is also prescribed for panic and anxiety, which are indication of abnormal electrical activity in the brain.
How it Works
In general, Clonazepam produces mild sedation by depressing activity in the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord). In particular, clonazepam appears to enhance the effect of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), a natural chemical that inhibits the firing of neurons and dampens the transmission of nerve signals, thus decreasing nervous excitation.
[blockquote align=”right”]Cognitive Remediation Therapy (CRT) is designed to improve neurocognitive abilities such as attention, working memory, cognitive flexibility and planning, and executive functioning which leads to improved social functioning. (See Clonazepam long term side effects on cognition.)[/blockquote]
Difficulty concentrating, outbursts of anger, other behavior problems, depression, hallucinations, low blood pressure (causing faintness or confusion), memory impairment, muscle weakness, skin rash or itching, sore throat, fever and chills, sores or ulcers in throat or mouth, unusual bruising or bleeding, extreme fatigue, yellowish tinge to eyes or skin.
Drowsiness, loss of coordination, unsteady gait, dizziness, lightheadedness, slurred speech.
Change in sexual desire or ability, constipation, false sense of well-being, nausea and vomiting, urinary problems, unusual fatigue.
Hawthorn may react antagonistically to clonazepam. Valerian and Kava Kava may interact additively (drowsiness): may exacerbate central nervous system depression (avoid this combination). Kola nut, Siberian ginseng, mate, and ma huang may blunt the benefits of this medicine. While St. John’s Wort is indicated for anxiety, it is also thought to increase (induce) cytochrome P450 enzymes and will tend to blunt clonazepam effectiveness.
Alcohol may increase the depressant effects of this medicament on the brain. It is advisable to avoid alcohol completely throughout the day and night-if it is necessary to drive or to engage in any hazardous activity.
Increased sedation and significant impairment of intellectual and physical performance.
Do not stop clonazepam suddenly if it was controlling any type of seizure, or if it was taken for more than 4 weeks. Dosing should be slowly decreased (tapered) to prevent a withdrawal syndrome.
“If you’re manic, you think you’re Jesus. If you’re hypomanic, you think you are God’s gift to technology investing.”
From: Angela M. Baxley
Date: May 18, 2011 1:19:46 AM EDT
Talked to a doctor today (see below). We talked for a little more than an hour, over the phone. He ruled out epilepsy (if a concern, past as childhood) and manic/bipolar, depression.
He said there isn’t much a treatment. Continue Serofin, likely that can reduce “need” for effects of MJ. Should know in about 1 month.
Half-life for Clonazepam is extremely long and he was not at all surprised by any of my experiences.
Apparently I’ll just live with hypothymic [sic] temperament the same way Micheal just lives with dysphoria. I’m the euphoria to his dysphoria. No wonder I was so attracted to him. I always felt he gave me that other half of life perspective.
Begin forwarded message:
From: “Vishaal Mehra”
Date: May 16, 2011 3:56:03 PM PDT
To: “‘Angela M. Baxley'”
Subject: RE: Request
Clonazepam (and other benzodiazepine medication) can have an atypical response in some individuals, such as disinhibition, mood changes, and activation—rather than the expected calming/sedation often seen with these types of meds.
Would you like to talk over the phone to discuss your symptoms further?
I have some availability this week
Let me know
Vishaal Mehra MD, CPI
CEO and Medical Director
Artemis Institute for Clinical Research
8787 Complex Dr, Ste 100
San Diego, CA 92123
Office: (858) ARTEMIS (278-3647)
From: Angela M. Baxley
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 3:35 PM
To: Vishaal Mehra
Subject: Re: Request
Thank you for helping. Matt is a great guy, and I appreciate all his help as well.
I have had unusual symptoms from what I can recall around 15 or so up to today. I would like to see who might be able to professionally guide my search for understanding.
Please let me know what you need from me.
And once again,
We were launching Microsoft Expression, and it was my job to bring together a group of people to be known as Microsoft User Experience Evangelists. I also worked with my friends to connect influencers with the right people inside Microsoft to get all kinds of good gooey goodness flowing in the community. I was so proud to work with Dave Shea, Molly Holzschlag, Eric Meyer, Tantek Ã‡elik, Andy Clarke, Jeremy Keith, and Lynda Weinman (whom I’d met previously, and adored)—and then there’s Joe Clark—people who I had “grown up with” on the Internet: they were my idols, soon they were my friends… And then there were the legendary technology & design focused agencies AvenueA/RazorFish, Adaptive Path, Blue Flavor, IDEO, FrogDesign, Zaaz, Y&R (the rest of my Mad Men era I’d already taken care with Creative Services at the Bank)… I’m sure I’m forgetting people (and companies), it was a whirlwind and my memory has never been all that great,—wow—just talking about that year exhausts me.
San Francisco. Snowing trying to catch a cab outside the Dogpatch Studios. Destination: The Clift Hotel to meet @t and @meyerweb.
I was kind of tired of not being tired, I was a little tired of not sleeping. I just wanted to chill out, I’d felt like I’d been running on adrenaline non-stop for the good portion of a year. I watched Tantek nod off, sitting next to me, while Eric and I caught up. Yes, I was working full time learning a new job as a product manager (I wanted to apply design to a different role, I’d been doing design for 10 years and just finished the user experience strategy for another entire Microsoft product lifecycle… time for a change!) going to school carrying more than a full course load by cutting out of work early. Maybe doing it all wasn’t all I wanted to do right now. Little did I know I’d soon be the one falling asleep, only for me it was at the Playboy party as SxSW tucked away in a corner of the VIP room, a true disco nap, if I’ve ever had one!
Chicago. I don’t really remember anything about being here besides dinner. But I don’t remember eating, not even sure I was there. I just remember that steak house I wanted to go to. I think I showed up after everyone was done. Oh! and there was some fantastic pizza. Who ever’s is the most legendary deep dish Chicago style pizza—we ordered from there. I remember that was yummy!
From 2006 to 2007, there was Mix ’06, Microsoft Expression Sessions, designertopia, ReMix, Web Directions North, SxSW, along with the various ones I can’t quite remember, like dropping in on BarCamp—was it? with Tantek—and meeting Chris Messina, and Jina Bolton for the time—the conversations we all had.
These were the women who really got it done—Miwa and Tiffany, the dyna-duo behind Microsoft Expression.
New York. Corrina came to meet me in New York City, or maybe she was there for the Vista / Office launch? I can’t recall. I remember being up all night, coming back to grab my bag and catching a cab straight to the airport in the dark, leaving both her—and my running shoes!—behind in the dark. The hotel was lovely and mailed my shoes home for me, where they would be waiting for me on return. Truth be told, I wasn’t using them anyway.
London. I was there for my European conference for the Microsoft Expression Launch : designertopia.
Vancouver, Canada. Web Directions North.
I remember I was only “home” for a few hours in Seattle for right around the middle of the Super Bowl, but even that was actually spent over at Flores’ Super Bowl party…
So I gave up my hippy-natural-Momma ideals, and went in to see my doctor (who I came to adore) and she prescribed me Clonazepam for my jet lag/insomnia, and said that it would also calm me down. She warned me that they were highly addictive and were more for “symptom” use, but if it worked then we’d see what she could do long term. I also told her about the blue light therapy device, as all the travel had caught up with me—ZÃ¼rich, London, Reading, Vancouver, Whistler, Chicago, Boston, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York… did I forget any?—and the light seemed to work; it’d put me back on schedule, no matter what time zone I was in.
296.40 Bipolar I Disorder, Most Recent Episode Hypomanic
Note: Hypomanic-like episodes that are clearly caused by somatic antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy, light therapy) should not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder.
Reprinted with permission from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth Edition. Copyright 1994 American Psychiatric Association