Angela Glass Beach Bride

wedding

See also ‘Beloved‘ for photos of our betrothal, wedding, and reception dance.

כ״א בְּאָב תשע״ג

21st of Av, 5773 or July 27, 2013

 

Ancient Marriage & Wedding Customs

A chuppah symbolizes the home that a couple will build together.

me’kadesh ammo Yisrael al ye’dei chuppah ve’kiddushin

 “According to {Hebrew} custom,
marriage took place in two stages:
first the legal or true marriage was celebrated, and then,
only after a certain period of time,
the husband brought the wife into his own house.”

As a symbol of the covenant relationship that had been established,
the groom and bride drink from a cup of wine.

The Hebrew word for
the betrothal or sanctification ceremony,
kiddushin,” comes from the Hebrew verb qa·dhash (Greek hagi·os)
rendered “holy,” “sanctified,”
“made sacred,” or “set apart.”

Tiffany's rhodonite Full Heart by Elsa Peretti's

During kiddushin the bridegroom “acquires” a bride by giving her a small token.

Kiddushin is far more binding than an engagement as we understand the term in modern America—once kiddushin is complete, the woman is legally the wife of the man. The relationship created by kiddushin can only be dissolved by death or divorce.

However, the spouses do not live together at that time, and the mutual obligations created by the marital relationship do not take effect until the nisuin is complete.

Nisuin—from a word meaning “elevation”—completes marriage ceremony when the husband brings the wife into his home and they begin their married life together.

Birds of Paradise in La Jolla

After the dispersion of Israel brought their into contact with Western culture it became customary to perform the entire marriage ceremony, betrothal and home-taking (“erusin” and “nissu’in”), at one time; and an affiancing or engagement was introduced.

Jewish and Christian Marriage Traditions

Marriage is not solely, or even primarily, for the purpose of procreation.

Traditional sources recognize that companionship, love and intimacy are the primary purposes of marriage, noting that woman was created  because “it is not good for man to be alone,” rather than because she was necessary for procreation.

A husband is responsible for providing his wife with food, clothing and sexual relations. Marital sexual relations are the woman’s right, not the man’s—a man cannot force his wife to engage in sexual relations with him, nor is he permitted to abuse his wife in any way.

A married woman retains ownership of any property she brought to the marriage, but the husband has the right to manage the property and to enjoy profits from the property.

See “Marriage.” Jewish Women: A Comprehensive Historical Encyclopedia. Sherman, Batsheva. 20 March 2009. Jewish Women’s Archive. http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/marriage.

marriage tradition

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails…

There are these three things that endure:
faith, hope and love—
but the greatest of these is love.

Two Become One

At midnight they were roused by the shout,
‘Look, the bridegroom is coming!
Come out and meet him!’

Many claim to have unfailing love,
but a faithful person who can find?

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God,
and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Steadfast love and faithfulness meet;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.

God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

And God blessed them. And God said to them,

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it
and have dominion over the fish of the sea and
over the birds of the heavens and
over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man
leaves his father and mother
and is united to his wife,

and they become one flesh…

Groom

I betroth you to me forever.
I betroth you to me in
righteousness and in truth,

in steadfast love and in faithfulness.

“Who is this, arising like the dawn, as fair as the moon, as bright as the sun, as majestic as the stars in procession?” — Angela Marie Baxley at Bird Rock.

Bride

I am to my beloved,
and my beloved is to me.

My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.”

Look, the winter is past,
and the rains are over and gone.
The flowers are springing up,
the season of singing birds has come,
and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
The fig trees are forming young fruit,
and the fragrant grape vines are blossoming.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.
He browses among the lilies.

Before the dawn breezes blow
and the night shadows flee,
come to me, my beloved…

Groom

“You are beautiful, my darling,
beautiful beyond words.

Your eyes are like doves behind your veil.
Your hair falls in waves,
Your lips are like scarlet ribbon;
Your mouth is inviting.
Your cheeks are like
rosy pomegranates behind your veil.

Before the dawn breezes blow
and the night shadows flee,

I will hurry to meet you, by the sea.”

Bride

“Awake, north wind!
Rise up, south wind!

Blow on my garden and
spread its fragrance all around.”

“Come into your garden, my love;
taste its finest fruits.”

“I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.”

Groom

“You are altogether beautiful,
my darling, beautiful in every way.

You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride.
You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes,

Your love delights me,
my treasure, my bride.
Your love is better than wine,
your perfume more fragrant than spices.

Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride.
Honey and milk are under your tongue.
You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride,
a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.

Your thighs shelter a paradise
of pomegranates with rare spices—

You are a garden fountain,
a well of fresh water
streaming down the mountains.”

“Who is this,
arising like the dawn,
as fair as the moon,
as bright as the sun,
as majestic as the stars in procession?”

Bride

Come, my love, let us go out to the fields
and spend the night among the wildflowers.
Let us get up early and go to the vineyards
to see if the grapevines have budded,
if the blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates have bloomed.
There I will give you my love.
There the mandrakes give off their fragrance,
and the finest fruits are at our door,
new delights as well as old,
which I have saved for you, my lover.

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.

Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love
with all his wealth,
his offer would be utterly scorned.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/spunkygidget/23451144660/in/datetaken-public/